MOTHER HEN. MOTHER LION. HELICOPTER MOM.

How are you as a mother when someone hurts your children? Not physically hurts them...but hurts them inside where it really counts. Does it depend on who hurt them...does it make a difference if it is a friend or someone that really doesn't matter? Do you talk to the kid directly? Do you go to the parent? Do you not worry about it and let it slide by and tell your child to figure it out on their own? What if it is someone that you thought was the person who always had their back...the person who had always been there....what if what was said also hurt you, as the mother? What if you knew that people were judging you as a mother for the choices that you make in your family, doing what you feel is best and right for your kids...and your choices as a parent are part of what is pushing the others to be mean...do you change your ways, ideas, thoughts, etc...for "the good" of your child? Will it really be for the good of your child? And what if you know that the other kids are doing things they shouldn't be doing, or their parents wouldn't approve of...How would you handle it....???

Are you the mother hen or are you the lion....or are you a bit a both? I am both....and neither one is really good. Jr High and High School for me were the 6 worst years of my life. I would never ever ever (I sound like Taylor Swift) want to relive those years. It has taken me a long time to even be friends with some of my high school "friends" on facebook. We have our 30 yr...yes, I did say 30! reunion this summer, and I'm still not sure if I can stomach it or not...anyway.....my mother was oblivious to my circumstance at school...mainly because I kept her out...didn't want her to know...

I on the other hand have always been involved with my kids and their friends. I have felt it important to be friends with the friends. I want to know who they are hanging out with and what they are doing. I have always tried to be the friend, and the mother...I want kids to feel comfortable and open. I want to know what is going on in my boys lives...not because I'm nosy...but that mother hen in me who wants to take them under my wing and make everything better and right. Not always a good idea people...let your kids mess up, and let them fix it! Don't do it for them, unless they really can't fix it...

I'm also a great helicopter mom...hoovering around...not good either. When Robert came home from his mission I promised myself that I wouldn't hoover...yeah, right! I tried not to...I still try not to...but when you see the need, what do you do? Oh yeah...sit back and let them take care of it on their own...they'll figure it out...but if you see that it isn't happening and it is something that needs to be done...do you do it, let it fall through the cracks and they deal with the consequences...

Then there is the Lion...she is the one who roars...heck or high water she will make her point, and everyone is gonna hear it...yeah...well, that is me as well, more often than I would like to admit. And if you hurt my cub...well, my claws come out. Not good at all. I may calm myself down...but my instinct is to fight...to protect, and to make you pay for your error...or transgression, or whatever it may be.During of after the fact I realize that I was to aggressive and calm down...but at the time...I don't care...

May I suggest that the Lion is not the type of mother anyone should want to be...and it is something that I work on daily....

Now, back to my questions, because I have plenty of them today....Would you change the way you do things in your home, just so your kids wouldn't be judged by others? Kids are cruel and mean, and so are adults...we all judge...even if we say we don't, we do. We may try not do, but we do...We find out that one family lets their kids do certain things and we tell our children things like, "we know that isn't right, and so we don't do it", "they do that in their family, but we don't because it isn't right". Not everything is black and white. Sometimes there are grey areas and you have to make choices. Do you want your kids sneaking around doing things that you're not aware of...or would you rather it be out in the open...even if it means giving in a bit, so that you know what is happening in your child's life and so you can help them to learn and make right choices. And then, when words are said, comments are made, etc...things that really hurt...well...what do you do, how do you fix it? Do you fix it? And what if the comments come from the person who you thought would have your back...I know...heavy and confusing questions.

I am trying to teach my boys, and myself, that we all need to be aware of what we are saying and writing. We need to make sure that when we text, facebook, instagram, snapchat, email, etc...that we are not doing or saying anything that we wouldn't say in front of the person or family members. With social media and texting etc being how it is with our faces are always looking into some type of a screen and not into the face and eyes of who we are talking to...it makes it easier to say hurtful words. Words that sting deep down into our soul.

Every family does things differently. You do what you feel is best, and I'm going to keep on doing what I feel is best. But I will try to keep the hen, the helicopter, and the lion under control. All I can do is continue to pray and follow my heart, and do what I feel is best for my sons. What you do for yours probably will be different, and we might not see eye to eye, or agree...but please don't think that one of us is better, or worse, because of the choices we make...our life experiences influence the choices that we make in raising our kids...The most important thing is...lets be friends...and be kind.