to be a mother...with the good, bad, hard, and happy times.
I remember as a little girl playing house with my dolls. All I could do was dream of one day being a mommy. That is what I wanted. Then as I grew older my dreams changed some. Yes, I still wanted to be a mommy, but I always wanted so much more.
Life doesn't always turn out exactly as we think it will. There are twists and turns along the way. But eventually we end up where we are really suppose to be. I guess I really was suppose to be a mommy.
Like everyone else, there have been some hard moments raising two boys. They didn't come with an owner's manual or a guide book for dummies. They were sent to us on loan from our Father in Heaven and he trusted us enough to raise them, teach them, and especially to love them!
I don't ever want to say there were bad times, but there were growing pains and I'm sure I flunked a few "tests" that came my way. I'll never forget the day one of my boys agreed with me that I was a "crappy mom". I know that he said it in the heat of the moment, but it has stung me for a long time. I have tried to make up for that moment in time so many times. I hope I'm not so "crappy" anymore. Then there was the time that one of my sons said that he didn't like me very much and for me to go away. Another sting. I don't write these things to make my boys feel bad..on the contrary..but to prove a point. Every family has those really hard times, but then come the sweet tender mercies of the Lord that show you that you really are a great mom....
You know you're doing okay when all the friends call you "Judi" and your sons do too. You know you've done okay when the friends of the sons come to you ask girl advice, or just want to come over and see you and "hang out" even though their friend isn't around. But most of all you know you're a good mom when your son tells you that he wants to go on a "date" with you. Wow...I'll never forget that one! I was floored!!! :)
There have been so many happy times along the way. Walking around Disneyland, the beaches of Italy, Orlando, the kiddie pool in the backyard, or the trampoline...or just hanging out talking and watching a movie. Reading scriptures together at night. Getting an email where the big brother tells the little brother to listen to mom and dad because we really do know what is right and that we love them both and want what is best for them. That one made my day!!!
I am so thankful that the Lord trusted me (and Giovanni) enough to send us two of his precious sons to raise. I would have loved to have had more children, but you take what you can get and I'm lucky to have these two, so I'm going to do the best that I can every day. I hope they will forgive me for my mistakes and love me for trying. I hope they will never give up on me, because I will never give up on them!
I love you Robert and Brian. I am so thankful to be your mother!