CHANGES AND GROWING PAINS

There is so much going on in our lives right now and all I do is think, ponder, and also a lot of praying.

There have been a lot of changes going on around here lately and sometimes it is hard to take it all in. One of the changes that I am most thankful for is our family and how we are changing and becoming better and growing and trying. Giovanni has changed and grown so much since Robert left on his mission. I have always been thankful for him and the type of man that he is..but he is becoming something even greater now. I see it in him. I feel it in our home. And I am so thankful!

Brian is growing and changing too. It is hard to believe that he is 13 and in Jr high. I look at pictures of him from 2 years ago and he seems like he was just a little boy back then and now here he is, looking at me eye to eye...in fact, I think that that he has finally passed me, the one thing he has been hoping for! Silly boy!  Jr High isn't always everything that he or we thought it would be. It comes with good and bad. He comes home from school telling me about kids in the hallways, names that he is called, swear words that are spoken and aimed at him, and drama....so much drama. I forgot about the drama. It is a lot for a kid to deal with on a daily basis. I don't know if I could do it. But I know that Brian can...and sad to say...he has to. For now, that is his life. Robert has written to him several times about how it really does get better...to just make it through Jr high and then people calm down and others seem to find themselves. Kids grow up and life is better. I'm thankful that Robert is there to help Brian through it. He may be far away,. but he is still here, ever present.

I am trying to change as well. Some days it is easy to see my progress and other days I feel like I am struggling just to keep up! There is so much that I need to work one. I need to remember the words that a very wise mission president said to me many years ago..."are you doing your best, for today? forget about yesterday, and even tomorrow...but for today is it your best? that is all the lord requires of you". Thank you Presidente Conforte! I have applied those words to my life on more than one occasion. As a mother, wife, daughter, member of the church, employee, etc. It has helped me to gain perspective.

Change and growing are hard. Especially when you are use to life being a certain way...not that it is a bad life, just one that you know you can improve upon. We sometimes hear the comment that we didn't do something with Robert...why are we doing it now. Our reply is the same every time..because we have learned from our mistakes and want to do things better with you.

A dear friend called yesterday when she heard about the flooding in Italy in the area where Robert is currently serving. He son is in the same mission, but about a year or so behind Robert. She had genuine concern for my son and for me. As we talked I mentioned how I couldn't wait for Robert to come home so that I could just hug him. She began to cry and I did too...however...at the same time my comment to her was this....I now understand how are loving Father in Heaven must feel. He sends us off to be on our own. To learn and grow and experience life. And he gives each one of the the opportunity to grow. He wouldn't want us anywhere else, doing anything else..but he is still sad to see us go and leave his presence. But...he knows that it is for a short time and then we will be home again, with him.

It is the same thing being a missionary mom (or parent in general). You wouldn't want your son, or daughter doing anything else. You know that the experience will help them to grow and learn and become a better person. You know that what they are doing is important, but you still can't wait to have them home again. I think I have learned to understand just a bit better how our Heavenly Father feels and also his love for each one of us.

So...for now, I'm trying and doing the best that I can for today. But I sure am thankful for tomorrow so I can try again..because I know that it is going to take more than one day.