Being a missionary is hard. Very hard. Harder than some people may think or realize.
When I served my mission we had discussions that we had to memorize. There were 8 lessons and you had to know them word by word, with all the scriptures, etc. The first lesson had to be passed off before you left the MTC, and possibly the 2nd as well. And after 6 months in the mission (if I remember right) you needed to have all 8 passed off...
And when you had to do it in another language...oh my oh my! I could barely speak English correctly, much less Italian. There were separate books for each discussion...and it was hard...it least for me....
The great thing is that now the LDS church has changed the way that missionaries teach investigators. The missionaries now teach by the spirit. There are still guidelines and things that must be, and need to be taught before a person makes the choice to be baptized...however there is more moving room as how and the order to teach. Which means that missionaries need to be much closer to the Lord and in tune with the spirit to follow it to know what they need to be teaching and saying...but most of all they need to testifying of Christ. Missionaries need to bear testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ so that those they come into contact with can feel the spirit and learn to recognize it as a way for the Lord to communicate with them.
There is a great manual called, "PREACH MY GOSPEL". And it is amazing!
I actually have this manual on my Android phone...and I love it. I have spent a lot of time reading it and studying it. It is great tool for learning more about the gospel. Also knowing that it is what Robert uses for studying and teaching I wanted to be able to share thoughts and feelings with him.
I have been reading the section on Christlike attributes. It has been amazing for me. I have really felt the spirit and the influence of the Savior in my life as I have studied.
Anyway...back to missions and how hard they are...There is also a missionary handbook that has guidelines for missionaries and appropriate behaviors, rules, etc...We called it the "White Bible" when I served....I don't know what it is called now...but it was basically what missionaries lived by during their two years/18 months of service. So hence, the nickname.....
Then there is all the "other stuff" that missionaries have to deal with...no music, TV, electronics, family, movies, beaches and oceans, vacations, etc....girl friends/ boy friends, everything. Your whole life is dedicated to the Lord and what you are doing for Him. Basically you leave the "world" behind and dedicate yourself to the Lord.There is never another time in your life when you will be able to dedicate every moment to the Lord.
But alas...we are all human, and missionaries still have to deal with everyday life. It doesn't mean that all the feelings and emotions get turned off for two years. You may have a companion that you have difficulties with and it makes the work hard or you might have one that you get along so well with that the only thing you want to do is play. There are the temptations of the "carnal" world also, and other small rules to break. That is the moment when a missionary has to decide what are they doing on their mission. Why are they really there? Is it for the parents, the peer pressure, the girlfriend, nothing better to do...or because they KNOW that what they are doing is what they NEED to be doing...
When I left on my mission I didn't know why I was going...only that the spirit had bore witness to me that I needed to serve...so I did. I was not always the most obedient person (and sometimes I'm still not, but I try)...but I knew that I needed to go, so I did. It took me about half of my mission to really understand what I was doing and why I was doing it and the importance of the work that I was doing. I know that for some missionaries it takes longer, for others-they know before they leave to serve. As missionaries our responsibility was to bring people to Christ and his gospel. And to give them the opportunity and choice to join His church.
As I write to Robert I always let him know that success isn't based upon how many people you actually see baptized but by the seeds you plant and the difference you make in someones life. By the testimony you bear and by the service you give to the Lord. That to me is how mission success is measured. Also because we have to remember that people have their own free agency to choose for themselves.
I suppose the reason I'm writing this post today is because I've been thinking a lot about my son Robert and the fact that on March 3 he will have been on his mission for one year. I hope and pray with all my heart that as his one year mark comes that he will KNOW why he is there and what he is doing there. I have already seen so much change in him. I am so proud of him and all that he is doing. I only hope that this last year that he serves his testimony of the gospel will grow even more. These two years will be a large part of making him that man that he will become one day.
I hope that the same spirit and testimony that he is bearing to others is something that will also make him stronger, and a better person. I know that things can sometimes be hard and there is discouragement, but I hope that Robert will remember the words that he wrote to us in one letter...don't ever be discouraged because that comes from the devil, we can be disappointed, but then pick yourself up and move forward. Wise words from the mouth of such a young man.
I know that Robert serving his mission has helped my testimony to grow. I feel a difference inside of me that I haven't felt for 22 years since I served as a missionary. I feel that same spirit and desire that I thought I had lost. I am so thankful to know that it is still there and alive inside of me. Even though he is on the other side of the world I feel his prayers for me and his influence on my life. When he left on his mission people would make comments like..."oh the blessings you will receive", "the spirit in your home will be different", "you will be different". I remember thinking...sure, whatever. But in reality it is so much more than that. Words can not describe it. Only the parent who has sent a son or daughter on a mission can understand. I had served a mission and still didn't understand until Robert left. But now I do...
I love you Robert...and I am proud of you!!!
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