I have told my children many times that I am a parent for the first time. I've never had other kids to raise or practice on, so they are the unlucky ones, because they get all my mistakes. And can I just say that there are plenty of them...everyday!
As most of you know we have been working on Robert's mission papers for the past 2 months. I never knew that it could take so long! We seemed to continually run into problems. First we had to wait because it was to far until his birthday, then we had extra doctor's appointments and physical therapy appointments because of his hand and the scooter accident. The doctor's office didn't label his blood with his name and tests had to be redone. We needed to get vaccination records from the health department. Then when we were finally done with everything the Bishop was busy with work and changed Robert's appointment it least 3 times. Then they met and it took another week to then meet with the Stake President, then come to find out that there were a few things that the Bishop overlooked (remember...Robert is his first missionary to send out so this is all new to him as well). Then...the Bishop goes out of town for a week...he has a life too, right???? So then he has to meet with the Stake President about something on the papers, and finally this past Thursday night all of the Bishop's stuff is done..yahoo! Until this morning I get a text saying that I need to call him...he needs some insurance info.. and me being me..I have no idea where it is, so I call Gio, he tells me, I make copies and Robert takes it to him! Yahoo, we are done...not yet! The paper work that shows that Robert is also an Italian citizen isn't very clear. Giovanni comes home from work and scans and faxes everything to the Bishop! Yahoo!! We really are done. In the morning the Stake President should go over everything and send it in. I'm going to call the Missionary Dept on Monday just to make sure! I don't want to bother anyone if I don't have to.
Now you ask...what does this have to being a parent? Well...in the middle of all of this I have lost patience several times with different people a long the way. I have been critical and not supportive and I have shown my feelings in front of Robert. He is already feeling frustration on his own, but I haven't helped matters any. And as a parent I am the one who is suppose to help him during tough times and instead it is him who has taught me. He has said, "yes, I am frustrated, but saying something won't make it any better..so patience". I don't have patience. I think that is what I needed to learn during this whole process. That things are done on the Lord's time.
I am sure that it has all happened the way it has for a reason, but...my baby is leaving home and will be gone for 2 years!!! I want to know when he will be leaving (or how much time I have left with him) and where he is going...(do I need to worry or not?). And for any of you that know me well...I like to have my life and my families lives planned out. One of my OCD issues.
Robert and I have had the chance to have some amazing talks about serving a mission and the joys that it can bring into his life, like it did mine. The blessings that he will receive, and that our family will receive, but most of all the blessings that those that he teaches will receive. I have told him about the importance of a testimony and that through bearing his testimony that the spirit will touch the hearts of those that he is teaching. The spirit converts. but the missionary has the possibility to bring in that spirit.
We have talked about the ups and downs of mission life, of the MTC, learning discussions, languages, etc. He mentioned that he wasn't going to count days or months, but P-Days. He said that he would have 104 of them and that time would go by faster that way. I told him to not count anything but to enjoy everyday out in the mission field. That his attitude and feelings would make or break him as a missionary. As we spoke I felt the spirit. I felt blessed to be having that conversation with my son. To express to him that it doesn't matter where he goes, Canada, Idaho, Fiji, Italy, etc...that where ever he will go the work will be the same and what he is doing is just as important as any other missionary that it doesn't matter where he does it. Where ever he will be called to serve that is where HE is suppose to be!
As Robert was growing up he use to ask me..."Mom if I get a scholarship for college, do I put off a mission or not go so that I can go to school with a scholarship? What do you want me to do?" I always told him that it was his choice and to do what he knew what right. Well, he got the scholarships, went to college, but now he is doing what he knows and feels is right.
I only hope that I have been a good enough teacher for him. I know I've made mistakes and haven't taught him enough. We will work on cooking, laundry, etc when school is done in December, and those are things that he can learn. But what I really hope is that I have helped him to feel the spirit. To know that his Father in Heaven loves him and that we love him. I hope that he knows he is a child of God. I hope that he knows that I have a testimony of the gospel. Those are the things that I hope he will always remember.
When I go to bed at night and pray for him I hope that he knows I'm praying for him and always will be. Just like I do for Brian.
I love my boys and there is no other place that I would want to be or calling that I would want to have then to be there mother.
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