It's been months since I have written anything. It seems only fitting that I write tonight, being that it is the last day of 2013.
This year has been a wonderful year in many aspects. Giovanni and I went to Florida and the Bahamas for a week. We had a wonderful time. No kids...just us! Except for a second degree sunburn for me we had a wonderful time!!
In April Robert earned his AS (Associates in Sciences) from UVU. (He is now preparing to apply to nursing school.)
Robert and Serina got engaged in May. It was a wonderful!
Brian finished jr high in May as well. It was hard to believe that we would have a kid in high school again. He did great in jr high.
In August we went to Las Vegas for 5-6 days. A lot of people say, what do you do in Vegas for a week. We hang out by the pool. Go to shows, shop, eat yummy food, and stay away from the strip. We had a fun time, and it was a nice break before all the craziness of weddings and school starting.
On August 14th Robert and Serina were married in the Provo LDS Temple. It was a beautiful day. It couldn't have been more perfect. I have to admit that inside the temple I did get emotional for a few moments...but after that it was all smiles. What a great day. And every time I see those two kids together I am so happy. Robert married into a wonderful family. They love him so much. It is everything that Gio and I could have ever hoped for him. We love Serina and are so glad that she is a part of our family. I love having another girl around. She is always smiling and happy and positive..and it is obvious how much she loves Robert.
The end of August Brian started high school. I forgot the trials that come with high school....
Sad to say, but the experience so far has not been all that we had hoped it would be. In fact, it has been just the opposite. It has been a trial and a struggle. That is one of the main reasons that I haven't written for the past several months. I have had the desire, but I've been afraid of what I might write.
I'm still not sure if I'm ready to write the whole story and every thing that has gone on and all the struggles...mainly because I want to respect Brian's privacy. He has done great with his classes. I'm so proud of him, he was accepted into the honors program and has some very hard classes, and is even taking one AP class as a freshman. He made the school freshman basketball team and is one of the starters on the team. As of now they are undefeated 9-0! We love going and watching him play, and cheering on his team. It is the one release that he has. He loves the game! I think it is what has helped to keep him going these past few months.
I stand behind Brian 100% in his decisions and choices that he has made. He has suffered a lot, more than a kid his age should have to. As a parent I have spent many nights crying for my son. And I have spent many hours praying for him. I have come to understand even better how our Father in Heaven must feel for each one us, when He sees us struggle or suffer...knowing that He must stand by and watch as we struggle and learn and make choices. Through the scriptures He tries to guide us, just like I, as a parent have tried to guide Brian these past few months.
Through struggles we learn to rely more on our Father in Heaven. We pray more, and we try to listen closer to the promptings of the spirit. That is what Brian has been doing. He has also learned that as his family, we will always be here for him. Just as our Father in Heaven is always here for each one of us.
He has learned that being popular isn't what is important. Being a good person, treating others with respect, being a good friend, and following the gospel are the things that count most. He still struggles...he is a kid, a teenager, but he is learning and beginning to understand what is most important. He still has decisions to make and there will be trials to overcome and this year will be of growth for him, but I hope he knows where he can turn for peace. I hope that he will always remember that his Father in Heaven is there for him.
These past few months have been a struggle for Gio and I as well. When you see your child suffer and it is because of other people a lot of resentment builds up. I would rather not use the word hate...
But that is what I have felt, and it isn't good. It doesn't do anyone any good. Even at my age (ha ha)...I'm learning again...that the atonement isn't just for the person who has "sinned' but mainly for the one who must forgive. It is going to take me some time, but in the end I know that I will be able to overcome the feelings that I'm feeling. I have had to even pull back from friends, because their children have had some part in what is happening to Brian...and I don't want to do or say something that I might regret. It is said that time heals all wounds. I am hoping that is true. And I know I'm going to need a lot of time.
So you see, dear reader, or dear writer (referring to myself)...it has been a good year. A year of growth and understanding. A year of learning. A year of struggles. A year full of love and happiness as well. A year where our family has pulled together and been there for one another.
I am also thankful for dear friends who has listened to me as I have voiced my concerns. I'm thankful for friends who haven't forgotten Brian, and have been there to help him and support him an let him know that there are good people in this world. Most of all I'm thankful to a kind loving Father in Heaven who hears me when I pray, and comforts me when I cry.
I can only hope that in someways 2014 will be a better year, and I hope that I will remember all that I have learned this year.