BREATHE

Breathe...that is what I need to do right now...that and believe in myself and my choices and decisions.
As adults we have to sometimes do things that are hard. Things we never really wanted to do...but they must be done.
I finally had to get rid of the drama...can't do it anymore....don't want to do it any more...won't do it any more.
In relationships there are givers and takers, that is how it is, and I know that...but I just can't give anymore.
I had to severe a relationship today...one that I'm not really happy about, but I needed to do it, for me! After years and years I have finally come to the realization that something will never change and that I don't want to play the game anymore. I have been hurt enough and seen other people get hurt and in some instances I feel like I should have spoken up sooner and could have saved some people some pain, but I didn't....now I am speaking up to save myself more pain.
I know that this makes sense to no one and I'm sorry...I'm here just writing to get out what I'm feeling right now.
More than anything I'm thankful for a husband who supports my decision and feels the same way I do. He is much more level headed, objective, and understanding then I am and he has better control of his emotions...so I figure if he feels the same way, then it must be okay, right?
I sure miss my boys...I wish they were both here so that I could put my arms around them and make sure they know how much I love them, how proud I am of them. But....Brian is out with friends and Robert is gone...for now....But I will make sure that they both know....
As for the relationship....I realized that there hasn't been one for years and I was just kidding myself and that it was time to move on...and that is what I'm doing.
So, I need to remember to breathe and believe....