Maybe all this time I had thought that I had forgiven, when in reality I haven't.
Maybe I am just not capable of forgiving for certain things, and never will be.
It is something that haunts me a lot!
I continue to try to be more Christlike and to have love and compassion for those around me.
I try to be accepting and understanding.
I have been told that when something is not good for you or brings bad feelings, contention, or if it is like a poison, to keep it out.
So that is whay I have tried to do.
But everywhere I turn I am seeing signs and feeling like I need to do more.
I need to be better.
I need to really forgive.
But I can't.
It is something stonger and larger than me.
Then today as I was blog surfing...I came across this post, and it stood out...like it was for me.
Oh how I want to feel that peace and the love of the savior.
How I long to not have the feelings of mistrust, anger, and hurt.
It has been a long time since I have felt that.
I need to pray more and rely on the savior more.
Like the song says..."where can I turn for peace, where is my solace?"
I know where I need to turn.
I just need to be wrapped in the saviors arms and let Him do the rest.
Over the weekend I spoke with someone who made the comment that she felt like a hypocrite because the person who had been wronged was able to forgive and forget and move on...but she wasn't and she wasn't even the person wronged. She said that now she is starting to feel better....she still knows that the relationship she had with that person won't be good...but she is going to try to love and forgive and understand...because it brings peace to her, and she feels better.
That is what I want...peace and solace.....